What is a rewarding relationship? If you’re reading this, you probably already know what a relationship is. It’s an arrangement between 2 people. Maybe they share a certain level of intimacy. Maybe they share certain resources. Maybe they even live together.
But at the end of the day, our relationships apply across the board. You’re in a relationship with your boss whether you like it or not. You’re in a relationship with your friends. That much is obvious. Obviously, you’re in a relationship with your relatives.
But the problem is just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that they are mutually rewarding. In fact, most relationships involve parasitical arrangements. I know that’s harsh. I know that at some level or other, it’s politically incorrect. But it’s also true.
Have you ever had a friend who would call you only when she’s depressed? She would call you because she has all these problems and she’s basically just going on and on about how everybody’s unfair and how this person broke her heart and now she’s crying and suffering deep down inside.
So you try to be as supportive as you can and you just listen or you give advice. But at the end of the conversation, she feels so much better but at the same time, you feel heavy. It’s as if you got hollowed out by this person’s complaint and general negativity.
Well, that is forgivable if it happens every once in a blue moon. But if it happens all the time, that is a parasitical relationship. Guess what? You’re not the parasite. Your friend is. She is benefiting from you. You, on the other hand, are getting emotionally hollowed out. You feel really heavy and at the end of the day, you feel numb.
It’s as if all your emotional energy just got sucked out. This also applies to romantic relationships. Please understand that there are a lot of broken people out there. Unfortunately, a lot of them don’t know they’re broken.
So they unload all their insecurities and hang ups on the people who love them. And since you love this person, the relationship becomes some sort of emotional black hole. Every time this person opens her mouth, it’s as if all the problems in the world is placed right square on your shoulder and guess what? It’s not exactly light.
So what happens? You start looking at your relationship in terms of compartments. You like the sex. You like the intimacy. But you could do without the drama. So what do you do? You keep her emotionally at arms length. You’re not really there. You’re not present.
When she opens her mouth to share her deepest feelings and her most agonizing insecurities, you check out. Now, this is the problem, it doesn’t mature you as a person nor does it help her. And unfortunately, your relationship is stuck in neutral.
This doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to break down. This doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s a high chance that somebody’s going to head out for the door. Instead, I’m talking about something worse.
You can stay in a relationship. But essentially, it is not very rewarding. You can stay in that for 30 years. You can stay in it until you die. And the worst part to all of this is that you cheated yourself because that relationship could’ve been mutually enriching.
It could’ve been a gateway for both of you maturing as adults and going past your comfort zones so you can live up to your fullest emotional and mental potential. But unfortunately, because you lack self discipline, you just look at your relationship as this necessary evil that you just have to endure because there’s something in it for you.
Maybe it’s the sex. Maybe it’s the intimacy. Maybe it’s her money. Whatever the case may be, it is an unhealthy arrangement. If you’re sick and tired of unhealthy arrangements and relationships that are not all that healthy for you on an emotional, mental or spiritual level, click here.
You will get a practical everyday guide on how to become a more self disciplined person. It doesn’t matter how busy you are. It doesn’t matter what kind of past drama you have suffered. It doesn’t matter what kind of crappy relationship you’re in.
This framework will help you get the self discipline you need so you can be that kind, loving, compassionate and effective partner that you are capable of becoming.